T2+Explanation+Writing+Sample

=**Explanation Writing Sample Term 2 2010**= Broken bones **** It is an **Explanation My learning goal is To use good language for the reader and to put in more technical words. To sequence more ideas for the reader. ** || 2. How strong are your bones 3. What does it take to brake your bones 4. Can you brake all your bones 5. How many times can you brake the same bone |||| Pressure/snap? Calcium bruising swelling docter,x ray cast, reconnect in cast
 * ** My writing is called
 * **My Questions** |||| **My Research** ||
 * 1. How do you brake your bones

body heals the leg by self

to dameged don't heal well

replace pin srew rod

kids bones are not likey to brake but adults are.

kids softer flexible ||
 * **Planning my Writing** ||
 * L.I.

S.C. || **Purpose/Audience People who have broken their bones or are scared of breaking bones and want more information.

Content & Ideas**

Structure/Organisation ||
 * Explanation Sequence
 * What is a bone
 * How strong are bones
 * Breaking bones (what happens?)
 * How they heal/get fixed
 * Keeping healthy (eating & drinking to keep bones strong)
 * Title broken bones

What are bones?

Bones are the stabilizers of your body if you didn’t have bones we would be like jelly and we wound’t be able to stand or do anything else. They are made so we can stand and do all the activities that we do. They protect all the various organs and veins. Bones connect up all your body there are 206 bones in a body. Bones have more calcium them then any other organ in the body. Bones are made up of two different tissues the first a spongy inner layer called cancellous bone. A spongy bone is lighter and less dense than compact bones. The second one is a hard outer layer called cortical compact bone.

How to break bones? Bones are very strong, but they still break under a lot of pressure, some times they break so bad that doctors can’t fix them.so they replace them with metal rods, pins and screws. You can break your bones by falling of a high place or even doing your normal day activities. You can break all of your bones in your body by hurting them in different ways. You can feel when you break your bones because it really hurts you cry.

How do bones heel? Your bones heal at different paces in the process of healing, several paces of recovery facilitate the protection of the areas surrounding fractures and dislocations. The length of the healing is to up to how bad the injury is. If the injury is really bad some times it takes weeks or even mouths to heal. If it is a fracture it takes a couple of weeks to heal. When you go to the doctors to get it checked they give it an xray, If it turns out that its broken they put a really heavy cast on it so it can heal 2 weeks later you get a water proof cast to put on it so you can swim and its lighter so you can run as well.

conclusion Your bones are a big part of your body and you really need them so don’t go breaking your bones on purpose and don’t go doing crazy stuff to them. If you break your bones really bad you could have your bones taken out and replaced with metal rods

||^  ||  Harrison your writing is a good length, makes sense and uses a number of technical terms that relate to bones. You have also done well to sequence your writing in a logical order making it easy for the reader to follow. Harrison remember to be careful to write in the correct structure e.g. and information report has subheadings an explanation does not.
 * ** I achieved my goal because ** ||
 * Teacher Comment **


 * CATEGORY || **Level 1** || **Level 2** || **Level 3** || **Level 4** ||
 * **Purpose & Audience** || I write for myself. I have tried to explain a simple idea. || I know I am writing for an audience. I have explained a simple idea well. || I know I am writing for a an audience and I have made some good choices with my content, language and writing style. || I know I am writing for a an audience and I have made a number of good choices with my content, language and writing style. ||
 * **Structure** || I have some good sentences, most of my facts are written in the order that I learnt them. || I have used simple factual statements about my topic. || I have tried to sequence my explanation it is mostly in a logical order (introduction, body, conclusion). I have used some sectioning or paragraphing and link main ideas together. || I have sequenced my explanation logically (introduction, body, conclusion). I use sectioning or paragraphing and link main ideas together. ||
 * **Ideas & Content** || I have written about my personal experience about what happened or how something works. I have included some statements that are unrelated e.g. I like rocks. || I have identified what happened or how something works using simple language. I have included some statements that are unrelated e.g. I like rocks. || I have clearly identified what happened or how something works. Most of my writing is relevant to my topic. My writing is a straightforward sequence of why/how things happen or work || I have clearly identified what happened or how something works. All of my writing is relevant to my topic. My writing elaborates on ideas and/or includes reasons for why/how things happen or work. ||
 * **Language Features** || I have used some language related to my topic and lots of high frequency words I know. I have used simple, factual and some descriptive language. I have used mostly simple sentences. || I have used some language related to my topic. I have used language to tell how it is or happens but have used present tense. I have used mostly simple and compound sentences with some changes in my sentence beginnings. || I have used language related to my topic. I have used language to tell how it is or happens but have mostly used present tense. I have used a variety of sentence structures, beginnings and lengths for effect. || I have used technical language. I have consistently used precise, descriptive, factual language and correct timeless tense. I have used a variety of sentence structures, beginnings and lengths for effect. ||
 * **Grammar** || I have used mostly simple sentences and some compound sentences. Sometimes it is tricky to read what I have written. || I have mostly used correct grammar with writing simple and compound sentences. || I have used most grammatical conventions correctly when writing simple, compound and some complex sentences. || I have used most grammatical conventions accurately when writing simple, compound and complex sentences. ||
 * **Spelling** || I have attempted to spell words using sounds and patterns, it is hard read some of the words. || I have attempted to spell words using sounds and patterns. || I have spelt most key content words and high frequency words correctly. || I have spelt most key content words and high frequency words correctly. ||
 * **Punctuation** || I do not have very much punctuation and need lots of support/reminding from a buddy or teacher. || I have used some punctuation like capitals and full stops but I need support/reminding from a buddy or teachers. || I have punctuated most of my work by myself using capitals, full stops & commas. || I have used capitals, full stops and commas with consistency. ||